Friday, December 29, 2006

17 years and counting

Dec. 30th, the day that Jay and I promised, no vowed before God, family and friends that we would love, honor, and cherish each other come what may.

17 years ago, we were young starry eyed and "in love". Today, the starry eyes see a little clearer now but we still love each other.

I have learned alot over the past 17 years. Here is one example for each year we have been married.

1. Love is a verb--the feeling has faded from time to time. That is when you reflect on what you vowed. In good times and in bad. In sickness and in health, etc. Still, even when you don't FEEL like it--you do it anyway.

2. Most people don't change. People can grow/mature but they tend not to change.

3. If you are quiet long enough, they will talk to you. This one has been hard for me!

4. Discounting him infront of the children, seriously hurts his self esteem and standing in the children's eyes.

5. After 17 years, he still can't see what is right in front of him.

6. After 17 years, he will still ask you where the pitcher is, even though you have kept in the same place since you have moved in.

7. After 17 years, he will always need to be reminded that the trash goes out on Sundays and Wednesdays.

8. Put him first. He came before the kids did and even when the kids come along, he still needs to be first.

9. Always have a date night. No matter if it once a week or once a month. Always have a date night. We tend to save our gift cards that we collect thru the year to use on these nights.

10. pray together. Even if you are disagreeing, pray together. What you hear from his lips reveals so much to his heart.

11. For every negative thought you have about him. Then verbally say 2 positive things. This keeps the heart from growing cold towards him.

12. They are still young at heart. This comes true when your children get a cool toy, like a playstation 2 or a psp or guitar hero! They play it all the time!

13. Always take your anniversary to reflect on where you have come from and where you want to grow together.

14. Use "I" statements when talking to them. That way you are not accusing them of anything.

15. I had to teach Jay how to do laundry and mop the kitchen floor when we were first married. These are skills that I am now teaching Alex to do....that and wipe the toilet rim when he is done! His wife is gonna love me!

16. When the snoring starts, buy ear plugs! They are cheap and keep you from having negative thoughts!

17. I am blessed because after 17 years, he wakes up every morning KNOWING that he loves me and that we were meant to be together.

4 comments:

Tanya said...

Happy Anniversary!!! I can't believe it has been 17 years - WOW! I can still remember that day quite well. I like your list...especially #5 :) It made me giggle. We have that "issue" at our house, too.

You and Jay are so special to us! We love you guys. Have a happy day.

Emily Gray said...

ditto -- happy anniversary!!
this morning someone said the word 'mauve' and i immediately thought of your wedding - all the mauve you used, and how your dress was a light pink... But I had forgotten that the day was yesterday! I can't believe it's been 17 years :)

Malia said...

Awwwww!

Happy Anniversary y'all!!

I'll definitely take any advice you have about marriage. I've always looked up to you and Jay in your marriage and admired your relationship. You've stayed together through the years even though I know you've have some really tough times. You're an inspiration and a wonderful example of what a Christian marriage should be like.

Ramona said...

Happy Anniversary :). You made such a great pick in Jay. Tanya and I talk about how much we like him and wish we could see him more, although it seems like we do see him more with his new job. And #9 makes me want to give you gift cards more often :). Love you guys, Ramona